Happy Holidays... and other rants.

Well Christmas is over, which is fine with me. I really love the family part of Christmas, however I do not enjoy the month (or more) long focus on gifts and cooking and other stress, along with college finals and all the other stuff. I hardly ever get into the 'Christmas spirit' more than one or two days in advance, although I really do enjoy Christmas when we are actually celebrating it.

Anyway, last weekend we went to Kansas City area to visit Stephen's family... well his two brothers anyway and their families. We were able to see each of our four nieces, and they all enjoyed the gifts we got them. Everything went super well other than Stephen's brother John coming down with strep throat and that put a little kink in our plans for a minute. We had a wonderful time and I couldn't believe how big all the girls were since I last saw them. I cannot wait until we all live closer again.



Then this weekend Shyann stayed with me and we spent the majority of our time playing games. Today Shyann, Aunt Tracey, My mom, and I all went over to grandma's for Christmas dinner. Tracey and I cooked and the food was great. Not to mention we all got along for the most part which is usually unheard of. I was really happy, but most of all I am sure it made our grandma happy too. We really did have a pretty good time.


So Christmas went really well, which is good because next year there is a good chance that I might be living somewhere else, so I wanted to make sure this year had some good memories.



On other rants; a lot of things have been bothering me.
For one; I have been sick for nearly two months off and on, and it is really getting to me! Stephen seems to be sick too and that just makes it worse. I know this is probably all just my nerves and stress but it is seriously getting old.
Also, I finished the semester, so that is a big relief.... However, I ended up failing Sociology (mostly because my teacher SUCKED!) but anyway... that doesn't look very good. However, I got all A's and B's in my other classes, so that is good news.
My mom is talking about weird things again. (Does she ever stop??) Anyway... so now she is saying that she is talking to Chris. (my friend that died a while back) and that he has told her some things, like that we all need to pray him into heaven, and he is apologizing. Also I guess he wanted my Aunt Tracey to know that she would see her son in heaven when she got there? So I guess my aunts son who she gave up for adoption when she was sixteen might be dead? I don't really know what to believe. Most of me wants to say that my mom is just crazy and needs help herself, but then I am not too sure. What if she really is hearing stuff? I don't think it is a good thing either way, but I would hate to have to live with the fact that I didn't tell Chris' mom to help pray him in if that really is something that needs to be done. Then again; I don't really believe that people can pray you into heaven... I always thought that had to be a personal decision you made with God. I know Chris believed in God, but I am not too confident about the relationship... and this is kind of getting to me. :/
In other news, I still have a couple of weeks left before I can take another pregnancy test to find out if our efforts worked this month. Most of me REALLY wants to see two red lines, but there is still that small part that is totally freaked out due to bills and other uncertainties in life. Then I tell myself, can we really base our life on uncertainties? Because in all honestly... the only thing for certain is uncertainty anyway.

Anyway; the good news is I am out of classes until January 18th so I have a little time to relax and try to enjoy life a little before I kill myself again.

Woooooooooooooooooooooooo... ba.

Month One.

Well... Month one of trying, no such luck. I'm not pregnant....
Oh well, It's only been one month.
And I was super sick anyway, so it's probably good a fetus wasn't exposed to all the medications they had me on.

Better luck next month. Now I will be trying for a September baby. <3

The dumps.

Yeah... I am "down in the dumps" as one would say. In more than one way.

After Chris died, I have been pretty upset. Not a lot I can do about it though, I continued to go to work and try to be active in school... with not a lot of success.

I have been sick for three weeks, right before Chris died I got really sick and I haven't been able to shake it off. :/

Finally last night my husband made me go to the doctor, who then made me go to the hospital... Where they beat me up all night running tests, poking me with needles, etc.

I was severely dehydrated and they found an ovarian cyst. Also, were aren't sure exactly... but they know I have "infectious diarrhea" Although they aren't sure the infection exactly. :/ Probably Ecoli or something awful, Since I know my mom had that.

Anyway... so with all the Chris stuff, and then being sick, and then being in the hospital I have managed to do so awful in one of my classes, that it doesn't matter if I get 100% on everything else, I will still fail. My teacher refused to work with me, even though she hid most of the stuff and I didn't know about it.

So I will not be able to graduate in May with two degrees. I can graduate with the one if I want to though.

I am really worried. I think I am killing myself with all this school and work stuff going on. :/ If I still want to get both degrees I will have to go until July at least, and I will have to take 16 credit hours again next semester, and then 6 in the summer.

I guess I will do it though... I have not much of a choice. I don't want one crappy teacher and one bad situation to reuin my life... but at the same time, I don't want to waste my life on school and kill myself. I can't afford to not work, so something's gotta give. Ugh.

Anyway... I don't know what to do. Especially with trying to have a baby. There is a chance I could already be pregnant and just don't know... I don't want to stress myself out even more during a pregnancy, you know? I also don't want to be killing myself after my child is born though, which means I need to suck it up and do it now. BLAH.

Christopher Dale Reuter.

We met when I was ten years old, you were eleven. We were best friends in no time starting our journey of getting in trouble together, long talks, and a genuinely good friendship.
We went through the rest of elementary school into Middle School together, where we were each others first boyfriend/girlfriend for around six months. We had a small rough patch but soon enough were best friends again. All through high school we had each others backs. I wanted for you to be happy, and you wanted the same for me. We would joke about silly things, get in trouble for talking, maybe even cause a little drama... but we were pretty cool kids in the end. I mean, really... who spends an ENTIRE Sunday studying for biology. That's right, we did it all. You were a good guy, Christopher and I love you very much still.

On Monday, November 8th is the last time I saw you. You were so excited to cook dinner for Stephen and I. I was excited too. You made spaghetti. It was really good. We talked, and you told us of all your plans. Then we played yahtzee. It was pretty fun too... at least, I thought so. ;)

I guess I just never thought you would be gone. I figured you would be around forever. I thought you would be 'Uncle Chris' to my children, and remain my best friend for several years to come. I never thought this would happen...

On Sunday, November 14th I got the call. You had died. You were only 20 years old. Exactly one year older than me, to the day. I couldn't believe it. Part of me still doesn't...
Being with your family, helping with the funeral, weeping with your mother, your aunt, your sister, your brother, and all your friends... it was still unreal. I just thought you would walk through at any time to tell us of your joke.

But it is real. You are gone. I feel so empty. I feel like I didn't do enough. But mostly... I feel robbed. 20-year-olds are not supposed to die. This wasn't supposed to happen. And I am sick about the fact that it did.

Later on we found out you died in your sleep of an aneurysm. It was brought on by some sort of huffing... Something I never dreamed you would do. I guess he did it for years without me knowing... but he wouldn't have told me, because he knew I would probably give him the "thats stupid" talk.

This is pretty depressing for me and I still don't really know how to handle it. I am trying to be happy because I know that he wouldn't want me making my life miserable... it's just kind of hard sometimes.

Rest In Peace, Christopher... I love you.

Changes- for the good. :-)

So I have been working at Summer Start daycare as the lead 1-year-old teacher for over a week now and I have to say that I LOVE IT! I am so glad I was able to get the job and each day I feel more and more confident that this is what I am supposed to be doing. I am so lucky, and I know that God provides.
My boss actually has been giving me compliments a lot and it seems like they really like me there. I am watching the daycare grow before my eyes since they just recently opened and I am glad that I was one of the first additions to their daycare family. :)
Also, working with the little ones makes me feel better about becoming a mom. Stephen and I plan to start trying in the next couple of weeks and I don't doubt that decision at all either. I am so excited to finally have a little one of my own, and I am thrilled that I have a job that I can work while pregnant, and after my little one arrives.
I just hope and pray that it all continues to go well. =]

Huge relief.

So, lately I have been completely stressed out with my job, and I am sure every one has gotten that. In fact, I really haven't been happy for around a year or so but I had to make money some how. Luckily things have really turned around for me and I am so over joyed I almost feel guilty about it.

In the last three weeks I have literally worked about ten hours, which one logically cannot live off of. It has been really stressing me out, and Stephen and I are so broke! Finally I decided to get serious and find something else. On Monday I started looking for a new job, specifically in a daycare so I wouldn't have to worry about doing lab hours any more. After some-what over looking a post I had seen because it was posted in the wrong section of craigslist, I decided to finally call this daycare anyway on Wednesday. I talked to the owner on the phone that morning and got an interview set up for 1:00 that afternoon. Of course I was thrilled; but I really didn't want to get my hopes up. The interview went really well for me and I was thrilled to see owners of a business that seemed pleasant and logical. They told me that they would call me back that day, and so I began to wait... and wait.

I knew that the center closed at 6:00- so when it was 7:00pm and I still hadn't heard anything I assumed that they decided not to hire me after all. Then at around 9:00 that night I got a phone call! He apologized for it being so late as he had some things come up... but then followed to tell me that he wanted to offer me a job as the lead teacher of the 1-year-old room! I was STOKED! This is what I have been wanting for a long time. Better yet, I am guaranteed at least 40 hours a week, and up to 50 hours. I also get a 30 minute break during the day- which was so weird, but I LOVED it!

I went to quit my job at Clippers N Dippers and Jenni took it better than expected (thank God) I didn't give her much notice, but I didn't feel too bad because I haven't worked for weeks when I was promised to get first dibs on hours this winter- yet Angie has been working at least 30 hours a week. I also had to go and quit at OTC, which was kind of sad because I was attached to the other teachers and my 3-year-olds... but they all wished me luck and were really great about it.

My first day was Friday and it went pretty well. My hours are from 8:00am to 5-5:30ish Monday-Friday. I couldn't be happier. I just hope every thing continues to go really well. I am in the classroom by myself as the only teacher most of the day until we combine toward the very end of the day sometimes.

This also gives me a lot more conformation about the baby thing. I have been wanting to start trying for a while, but I was worried about working at Clippers N Dippers pregnant, and if Jenni wouldn't pull some crap and just fire me for no good reason anyway. I was worried about having to work 60 hours a week in the summer heat in there with no breaks and heavy lifting. Now that I have this other job, even though the pay is less- I can comfortably start trying without worrying about not being able to work due to pregnancy. It is a lot easier to lift a 1-year-old than a 100+ pound dog.

Anyway- I need to keep my head up, because I know God will provide and I am so lucky that things are starting to turn around now. :)

I can't hardly stand the people here.

Each day that passes I feel like there is nothing in the world that would possibly make me want to stay in Springfield. It seems like I am surrounded by some of the worst people ever! I adore all of my friends that are so wonderful, but it seems the bad is outweighing the good lately. No way on earth would I want to raise my children here, that's for sure.
It seems my boss has some kind of personal issue with me. She is always pissed off at me but never has a legitimate reason as to why. A couple months ago the 'reason' was that I was a perfectionist. I thought that was something that employers wanted!? Then after she lied about giving me dibs on hours and cut me down I asked her if I was doing something wrong and that pissed her off. She couldn't give me an answer but was seriously offended that I even asked. Multiple times since she gave the other bather my hours, there is stuff she hasn't done and then my boss yells at me. It's like seriously... if I was here she knows it would be done, and done well. I have a hard time being happy at work but I have to have a job and I can't really express my feelings about what is going on because that just makes her mad. Even though it is her herself that told me to tell her if anything ever seemed unfair or if anything bothered me. I literally worked zero hours this week, and ten the week before. How is one supposed to live off of that? They can't. I guess I am supposed to work some kind of magic. :(
The next person that is really bringing me down is Tracey. She is so awful to Stephen and I. A few weeks ago she came over here to pick up Shyann (only because I told her I didn't have gas and couldn't pick her up AND bring her home this time.) and she was with some other woman and she had obviously been drinking. Shyann smelled it on her breath, and then she lied to Shyann but told me she would tell me the truth later. (obviously admitting it, right?) Then we comtemplated calling the cops on her because she was driving with Shyann, another child and another lady in the car. We didn't though, because I didn't want Shyann to deal with her mom getting arrested again. So we accidentally brought it up the next weekend when we were visiting my grandma, and a couple days later she called Stephen cussing him out, after she was cussing out my grandma and not letting her leave for work. The next time I saw her she admitted she was drunk, but still refused to apologize to Stephen. Last week Shyann called me crying because her mom and dad were fighting and Tracey was mad that Shyann left a couple days before when she was drunk. I went to pick Shyann up, and Tracey called the cops on me! After everything I have done for her! She owes me over $100 (which I could use because I'm SO BROKE!) and I always pick up and drop off Shyann. I buy school clothes for Shyann, take Shyann where she needs to go, and let Shyann earn money by working for us sometimes. Tracey is drunk all the time, She always tried to beat me up when I was a kid, she has hit her own daughter, hit my grandma, and driven while drunk but I have NEVER called the cops on her. I try to keep Shyann safe, and she calls the cops on me for kidnapping! FUCK HER. I stand by this, from now on if there is any reason to call the cops on her- I WILL do it.
Lastly, but not least- my mother. Oh I am so sick of dealing with her! SERIOUSLY it pisses me off so bad! The last two years have been hell with her. When I moved out she threatened to take my car, that I had paid for myself, but since I was only 16 her name was on it and she was being the devil. She never accepted Stephen into our lives, even though he is amazing to me and tries to be nice to everyone else even when they hurt me constantly (like she does.) From the time I moved out she decided that I was no longer important, and her marital problems with Kevin seem to be her excuse for everything but I don't think that matters. I am still her child and she should make an effort. Around Thanksgiving last year she got pissed off because I was having my (more reliable) cousin do my wedding shower, and then when the wedding shower came around she didn't show up because she was in jail. On Christmas we were all supposed to go to grandma's but instead her and Tracey went to my uncles and got drunk and beat each other up while Stephen and I were the only one's at grandma's while she got depressed because none of her kids care about her. She was in rehab for whatever she was in jail for, and she broke out to come to my wedding, and I spent my whole wedding day worried to death that the cops were going to show up and take her away. I had to threaten to have escorts take her and Kevin out if they didn't stop fighting. After my wedding she picked a huge fight with me and we didn't talk again until June when I invited her to a BBQ that we were having and things seemed to be made up. Then she invited Stephen and I over just to call us and cancel because her and Kevin couldn't get along. She never rescheduled. Since then it has been fighting constantly if we talk at all. A few weeks ago I called her and invited her to church but she couldn't go because she was in rehab again. She told me she would call me when she got out but she never did, and I haven't talked to her since. Now she wants to pick a fight with my husband and talk shit to my family about us when she has NEVER tried. I cannot wait to get away from her. She never wanted to be a mother and she never will be a mother to me. She is still stuck in a 15-year-old mindset and refuses to take responsibility for her own actions. I am ready to change my phone number, move and not give her my address, block her from facebook and be done with it.

So just more reasons I am ready to move.

Speaking of moving, I may be able to move faster if I can save money for our savings goals sooner than expected. I don't know if I can though. I talked to my adviser for college and she told me that I can take all my classes next semester and graduate in May if I want to. That would be 19 credit hours though and I don't know if I would be able to handle that. Plus I wouldn't receive as much financial aid if I did it that way. If I stay and wait to graduate until July I can take 13 classes in the Spring and 6 in the summer and still be considered full time and get more money out of the deal; but that means I would have to be stuck here even longer- and possibly without Stephen if QT has closed already and is in Kansas City.

So we will just wait and see what happens. PHEW! I feel better after ranting about the crazies.

You probably expected this to happen.

So... February has turned into November. I picked up my last package of birth control yesterday and once it is gone, it's gone! Wish us luck :D

Absolute Chaos.

So after my last post a lot has happened. I decided that I wanted to go ahead and take a few more classes at OTC that will end me in getting my transfer degree as well as my AAS in Early Childhood, which means instead of graduating in December as planned, I will be putting off graduation until the end of July where I will graduate as a double-major. Since then I talked to my adviser and found out the classes I need to take and everything, it seems as if it is all going to work out.
But right after I talked to my adviser Stephen and I were leaving OTC and he gets a call from his boss wanting him to come in and speak with him in person. So we drive to Ozark and Stephen goes in to talk to his boss, and comes out telling me the news that QuikTrip in Springfield is going to be closing down. The only options is for him to work for whoever buys it... or transfer. We do not know when QuikTrip will sell, but whenever it does (unless hes in boot camp) he will have to transfer up to Kansas City without me because I cannot leave until I finish my transfer degree!
In the meantime I have been talking to the Dean at University of Central Missouri in Warrensburg (about 30 mins away from Blue Springs.) and found out they have a great Early Childhood Education BA degree that I could easily pursue.
We still haven't heard anything about when he will be leaving for boot camp. If he doesn't leave for boot camp and then gets transferred to KC before he ever leaves, I will probably be moving back in with my grandma until I can move up to KC with him. However if he goes to boot camp soon, I don't really wanna move in with her yet because there is still a chance of him coming back and QT still being here in Springfield.

I still have the baby blues, but now I am even more worried about Stephen not being around. If I get pregnant any time soon there is a good chance he will either be transferred to KC without me when I have the baby, or he will be in boot camp. So I think we will end up waiting at least until February or so before we start trying for a baby, that way I make sure I finish my transfer degree and can move up to KC.

Life has been crazier than ever lately (as you can imagine) but we are trying to enjoy the time we have together anyway. It's looking like Stephen might end up being home for the holidays after all if we don't hear something soon. We have already been celebrating the fall festivities.

A Change Of Plan.

So, if you know me at all- you know that I have been so super excited for my graduation from college in December. At that point I will get my Associates of Science in Early Childhood Eduacation.
However- I have had a change of heart, and plans lately. For a while now Stephen and I have talked about me being a stay-at-home mom when we have children. We had planned for me to stay at home until our children were in school and then I could work part time while they were in class.
I love working with children, and I want to have children. Early Childhood Education was no mistake as a major. I never thought I would go more than two years of college though. Now I have decided to stay at OTC for another semester where I will have to complete 7 more classes. (2 in the summer) to get a transfer degree.
After we move to the Kansas City area, I plan to transfer to a college in K.C. and get my Bacholers of Science in Elementary Education! :D
This is a new decision for me, but I think it is a great one. If I go to college full time it will only be 3 more years. If I go part time, 5. Stephen and I do not have any children yet though, and I planned to stay at home for atleast the first five or so years. So while I have the little ones at home the plan is for me to continue my education. And then when the kids are in school I can be a teacher and have a similar schedule as them. :)
Also, this gives me something more to do while STephen is in bootcamp- and when I am a stay at home mom it will give me confidence of also going to college as well.
Anyway- I am excited for this new opprotunity and I am glad that Stephen is being so supportive. I cannot wait for whatever life has to offer. :)

The Waiting Game.

Well, It's been a couple weeks since I have written a blog. Nothing much has happened, other than getting cut hours and not too sure how Stephen and I are going to make it through the winter. I was promised when Angie came back last winter/spring that I wouldn't loose any hours and she was only going to be there when we were busy enough to have us both... but guess what? I guess that was just talk. After being closed on Mondays I lost that day... which was okay with me- but then we were told to pick a day off. I was upset, but chose Tuesdays anyway and Angie said she would take off Fridays. Angies also said she would take off Thursdays if it was too slow for both of us... but now- Angie is working tue, thurs and fri and I am only working on Wed and SAt. Really great. I don't know how I am going to support myself. That is only like... 15 hours. Ugh. =(
I understand that we get slow... but it really sucks, because I though I was going to get my hours first and only get called off when it was too slow for either of us, and that ended up being nothing but a lie.

On the other hand... we still haven't heard anything about Stephen leaving for bootcamp. It could be anytime now... they only have to give us 30 days. I really don't want him to leave, but I do... because the sooner he leaves- the sooner he will get back and we can move on with our lives. Which I am totally ready to do.

Hopefully we don't lose everything we have worked so hard for this winter.

I am just waiting... again.

Wake Me Up When September Ends.

So here I am again, waiting for the next big thing. Kind of. I feel like I almost try to wish my life away, which isn't what I want to do... but I am just always ready for something better. I want to make a good life for myself, for my family. Heck, I'd just like to have a family!
September... oh September has never brought much good to me. It's one of those "wasted" months in my opinion. It's the ending of the summer, and I love summer. School starts in August, but really takes full effect in September. There are no speakable holidays in September. Labor day is useless. September is one of those months I could just sleep right through.
This year in specific, I want it to pass because I am hoping that Stephen will be leaving for bootcamp soon. Not to sound harsh, but I would like him to leave sooner rather than later. The sooner he leaves, the sooner he will get back. As of right now the soonest he will go is October. If he leaves in October he wont be back until April. April just seems so far away. It's sad that Stephen will be gone for all the holidays, my college graduation, our first anniversary, and probably even his birthday... but it will be worth it.
It's worth it because when he does get back we can hopefully move forward with our lives full speed ahead. When he gets back, no more birth control for me! We will be attempting to have our first baby! This is so exciting for both of us. Also... in August, we will hopefully be moving into our first home together! A place to start raising a family, a place to call our own, and to put all our stuff! Plus... it means I will be away from all the wack jobs here in Springfield. (no offense) And I wont be in school anymore. I am so glad that I will be graduated! really... only 3.5 months left. :D
I am trying hard to enjoy this time, I really am. However, to me this time seems to be at a standstill. Stephen and I are married, which is great. I love being married... but we are stressing about saving for the future... when I just want to get to the future. I am still in school, and I am so ready to finish! Stephen and I are both itching for a baby boy.. or girl and as of yet, there is nothing we can do about it. (if we want to stay smart)

Waiting mode just plain and simple... stinks.

On the other hand, atleast I have this time to spend with my amazing friends before I do move. I love them much and I am very thankful to have them. My hope is that the friendships will remain no matter how many miles are between us.

Trip to Jacksonville, Flordia.

This week has been so crazy for me! However, it was definitely worth it :D

On Friday when I got off work I got a phone call from my sister-in-law, April. Her and Josh (Stephen's brother) live in Jacksonville, Florida because Josh is stationed there with the Navy. April was scheduled to have a c-section on Monday, August 9th. Her mom got sick and ended up not being able to go to Flordia and stay with April. So- April called me to see if there was any possible way I could come. It ended up with me pulling a lot of strings, but April wanted me there and I really wanted to go; so we made it happen.

Sunday morning I was at the Kansas City Airport at 6:00am. Around 6:30 April called me and said that as soon as I got there we were going to have to go to the hospital, but when I talked to her again via text message less than 2 hours later, they were already there. I was upset, because I felt like I was going to miss out. Once I got to Atlanta, Georgia where I switched planes, we went half way to Jacksonville and the engine failed on the plane. They ended up turning the plane around and I had to wait almost three hours extra for the next flight to Jacksonville! I was totally bummed out... and I didn't get there until about 3:30pm- which I was originally supposed to be there at noon.

April and Josh were in the hospital preparing for the c-section, so my brother-in-law John (stephens oldest brother) and my neice Victoria (Josh and Aprils oldest daughter) came to pick me up from the airport. Once I got picked up the day totally changed around! We went to the hospital and Baby Elizabeth Andressa Love was born at 4:11pm on Sunday, August 8th. :) It was so exciting!

The first night, John and I stayed at the house with Victoria, and the second night I stayed in the hospital with April and baby Elizabeth. Elizabeth is really a pretty good baby. It took a while for her to get to sleep, but then she slept really well. April and the family got released from the hospital Tuesday morning at 10:00am.



Once we were back at the house again, things were pretty mellow. We tried to spend a lot of time with Victoria to make the transition easier for her. Elizabeth slept a lot; and Josh and April were trying to rest up the best they could.
I absolutely loved being able to help family and spend time with my neices. This is one of the best trips in a while! The only thing was that I really missed my Stephen. It was great seeing him again.

I feel very lucky to have a good family that loves me. Stephen is amazing, and his brothers and their families have really accepted me. I am so glad we all have each other. :D

Best Friends Forever

Lately, I have been spending a lot more time with Sarah Highfill. She has been one of my best friends for serveral years now. She has always been close to my heart, but since we both started college two years ago we found our schedules never seemed to match up. This summer I have hung out with her several times. It makes my heart happy to know I have such a good friend like Sarah. She is amazing :) Today, I am thankful for a great friend.

Getting antsy.

Yesterday Stephen and I decided to go look at open houses with my grandma. :) It was a really good time. Some of the houses were awful looking though! We are not buying a house right now, we are waiting to buy a house in Blue Springs next summer probably. However, it is nice to see what we can get for the price. I am really hoping for a four bedroom house so we don't have to build on. :P Anyway.. we will just wait and see what happens. Looking at houses makes me so excited for the future. I cannot wait to have a house that we own, and a baby.

One Small Victory Won :)

So yesterday my husband and I made a trip to Warrensburg for a court date over our sister Sarah's guardianship. It was an emotional roller coaster, that's for sure. It started off with a sick to your stomach wanting to just roll over dead feeling. We had no hope. Sarah's lawyer had never called us back, we had no idea if we were going to testify, no idea what Sarah wanted. No real information at all.
The ride down was filled with talk of what could happen, what we hopped would happen, and what we really wish wouldn't happen. When we got there it was nerve-racking. The family had sarah on a leash. She had to wave behind her back so she didn't get in trouble. It was a sad situation and that in itself made me want to cry. I really have come to love Sarah like my own sister and it's such bullshit that the "Love family" does this to her.
Once we were in the court room it was hard to deal with Pam and Monty. I don't believe they deserve to be parent's at all, let alone to be parents to seven children, four of which are AMAZING children that they take for granted and don't love. I used to hold out some respect for Pam. I thought she was just a victim of a mentally and emotionally abusive husband. This turns out was just me trying to think the best of her. She holds as much hate for her children as he does. I just hope she really regrets it when she wakes up one day with no children at all. Monty has this awful "God-complex" that makes me want to vomit, luckily I think this had the same effect on the judge. His rude demenor and sarcastic attitude not only made him look like a complete idiot, but it showed his true colors and bit him in the ass later.
After a couple hours of the sperm and egg donors lying after swearing on the bible and degrading the only decent daughter they have... Stephen finally got to go up and testify. Stephen loves his sister completely, and although he was super nervous he told the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and it worked out in Sarah's favor! After a few more questions being asked the judge basically ruled that the parent's were denied all rights, they lacked evidence and that Sarah had no need for a guardian of any kind!
This is especially exciting because it gives Sarah the freedom to get away from them in the future, if that is what she wants. Which I will confidently say right now... it is what she wants!
After court, Monty was so outraged that his presence as God didn't sway the judge into believing his bullshit, that he attempted to start verbally attacking my brother-in-law John, and made himself look a fool once again! Needless to say, he got esscorted out and we will probably never have to see him again unless something crazy comes over us and we feel the need to go to his funeral.

A small victory was won; our next step is figuring out how to get Sarah moved out. :)


Sidenote:: After court, John, Stephen and I went to the mall and met up with John's daughters, Kaitlyn and Dakota. I love those girls so so much! I am so glad to be able to call them my neices. :)

Opening Blog:: Life on my mind.

Well this is my first blog on this website. It is July 19th, 2010. I recently celebrated my nineteenth birthday with friends and family. It was a great time. With the summer nearing an end, I have a lot on my mind. Next month I will begin my last semester of college. In December I will graduate! I am so excited, but this also comes with fears. When you graduate college, so much more is expeceted of you. It's almost assured that I will take a pay cut when I get a job in Early Childhood, but it should be a more enjoyable job that I can stick with for a long time. Stephen and I plan to move to the Kansas City area in a year or so. Also this fall, there is a high chance that Stephen will leave for bootcamp for the Air Force. This is a new chapter of our lives. He will be gone for a total of about six months including skill school. And... we are strongly considering to start trying for a baby right before he leaves. Chances are slim it will work, but it's worth a try. So crazyness is bound to happen. :P
On a more current note: Tomorrow Stephen, John (my brother-in-law) and I are going to court in Warrensburg for our Sister, Sarah. Her parents are trying to get guardianship over her, even though she is 23 years old and perfectly capable of living a normal life. She has a mild disablity, but that is not the issure for these controling parents. They simply do not want another child to move out, and they do not want poor Sarah to be able to talk to her brothers. It is ridiculous, and not morally right for them to do this to her... So wish us luck and pray hard for our courtdate tomorrow at 1:30pm.

--Mackenzie Love