Our life and Fall 2014 family Pictures

We have been so thrilled since the birth of our newest addition- Nehemiah. He is such a sweet, easy going baby and we are so happy to have him. Right now, we are focusing a lot on our financial state since taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University course. We have always done well but right now we are focusing on paying off our car (which should happen soon) and then we will be able to be in a little better place financially. Other than that we are really enjoying this time together as a family as Stephen has a small break from school. He has 2 more courses to take in the summer than then he will have his Bachelors degree. Life is good. We are enjoying World Revival Church, and I feel like Stephen and I are both growing quite a bit in our spiritual journey. I feel closer to God than I have been in a while and at the same time I now see myself as very far away and I know that I have a long, long way to go.

So during this time, we are just being still. Enjoying our God, our family, and all that comes our way. Figuring out where we want to go, dreaming about the future. So to remember this time in our lives- We had family pictures taken a couple weeks ago and they turned out wonderfully. Here is our family. <3

Baby #3 is here! Our family, our hearts, and our life.

Nehemiah Daniel Love was born September 14th, 2014 at 6:00pm at home, in water, after 16 hours of back labor.

He is the sweetest little boy, so happy, and so very loved by his mommy, daddy, sister and brother. We feel so blessed to have him in our lives.

After the heart changes that have been happening since joining World Revival Church and changing our attitudes, we are in bliss. Baby #3 has been the easiest transition. Not sure if that has to do with the older ones having each other to play with, the fact that Nehemiah is easy going, or just that Stephen and I are so open and positive with the idea of new life and not letting negative attitudes get in the way. We honestly cannot see how anyone could ever see a baby as a burden, we know ours are such blessings and even through the hard times we know the hard times are only for a season.

The birth was great. The hardest birth I have ever had, but very rewarding to have my baby boy in my arms and be able to experience it at home. I had some of the best birth professionals here and it was great.

Our hearts tell us that children are a blessing, no matter what child # they are, what gender, or what age we have them at. With that being said- We know we want at least 1 more baby after Nehemiah, but we have opened our hearts to even more if that is what God sees fit for us. :)

Baby #3 Will Be Here Soon.

Well time has been flying by, and here I am 35 weeks pregnant. It is hard to believe that in only 2 short weeks I will be full term, and in the next 6 weeks I will more than likely be holding our new bundle of joy. I am so excited, and overwhelmed I cannot hardly think straight! It seems like just yesterday that we found out. This whole year (We found out New Years Day) we have spent planning for this little one and yet it seems like it hasn't been enough time! We are in final preparations for our home birth and baby. We still do not know the gender, or the name and we are just hanging tight to find out! Everything is going really well and I am pretty healthy overall. Cannot wait to hold my baby boy or girl and nurse them, love them, adore them. It is such a wonderful time.

My precious boy is 18 months old.

Dear Josiah,

I can't believe a year and a half has passed since you made your entrance into this world. After 12 hours of labor, and no pain medicine what so ever, you were born and it has been the most amazing experience I have had. You greeted mama by a scream, and while you quickly calmed down when put on my chest, you then greeted me by peeing all over me. I was still naked from giving birth and you were only a couple minutes old; it didn't matter. We were both cover in post-birth nastiness but my love for you out weighed any amount of grossness I would ever have to endure having my first son; and let me tell you, little boys can sure be gross! I have never known someone to love dirt, bugs, pee, poop, and farting noises so much; but that is how you are. You love everything, really.

Before you were born I promised to love you, protect you, provide for you. Nothing has ever come easier. You were the most clingy, needy, and even grumpy guy as a newborn but it didn't matter. You woke up every 1-2 hours for the first 3 months of your life, and even now at 18 months old you still wake up one or two times a night at least 3 days a week. You are my second born child, but my first son, my first natural birth, my first successful breast-feeder, and my very, very special mama's boy. The bond I have with you is unlike anything I could of ever imagined before being a parent, and things have been so natural and blissful for the two of us. For the majority of your short life you have been attached to my hip, and didn't want to be around anyone else; although as we have entered into toddlerhood you have gained so much more independence and you are a very curious little guy. You are amazed by everything, you love puppies, cars, trucks, balls, blocks, and baby dolls. The amount of energy you have is insane! I only wish I could have even a fraction of the energy and love for life that you have. You are an inspiration. Your smile is contagious, your life could brighten the worst days ever; and although you are stronger than you know and hurt me often, the fact that you still want to pull on mommy's hair to comfort yourself when you are tired melts my heart.

You are going to be a big brother soon. You have such a sweet personality and the way you and your older sister have bonded makes me so happy. Even though you are 15 months younger than her you often try to help and protect her. I know you will be an amazing big brother as well. This time you will be about 20 months older. I hope that you will grow up with a great bond with your siblings and that you will be best friends through your whole life. No matter how many siblings you end up having, I want you to know that you are so special to me. I will always cherish every smile, laugh, and silly thing that you do. As you grow older I pray that you will be an amazing man of God with integrity, good work-ethic, and plenty of love to give into this world.

My son, there is no one else like you. You are very special, and God has a plan and purpose for your life. You will do amazing things, I know. Sometimes you will fail; but you know you are forgiven and you know that failure is what makes a person into who they are meant to be. I look forward to seeing the child, teenager, and man you will grow into. I hope that we will carry this bond forever, and that even when I am gone you will think upon the time that I was here with you. I am so blessed to be your mother for the 18 months I have been. I am so proud of you, and I love you more than any letter could express. Happy 18 months my child!

Love,

Mommy.

Life Changes.

Well life has been happening, like it always does and here I have went way too long without a blog again. Some awesome things have happened, like me quitting my job to be a stay at home mommy again, Finding a church home, and deciding to have a home birth for our 3rd child (due in September) but as always, nothing is perfect and there are things I need to work on in my life.

I have come to the conclusion that I have not been REALLY living a life for God. Sure, I believe in God, I love Jesus, I pray, etc. But to say that I am where I should be is no where near true. I guess if you are really living for God you will never be where you should be, because you are always striving to do better no matter how good it may be. Anyway, I would like to fix that... and while I am not sure exactly what to do I think there are some ways that can not only help me to live intentionally and truly encounter God again, but just make life better overall.


SO HERE IT IS, things I plan to do... like yesterday:

I will read the bible more. Or at all, let's be honest- I have never been good at this. Anyway, I think I should at least be able to do a little bit a day. Maybe no plan, just random but good.

I will spend more time in prayer, not just before bed or when something is needed. Not just with the kids, or my husband. I am talking- one on one time with just me and God. Maybe during nap time in the middle of the day!

Everything I do, I will to do to my very best. Being a wife, a mother, even doing laundry. I want to be a better friend, better sister, etc. I can be the most irritable person ever with my husband and that is not a Godly way to be. Sometimes, I don't give my children the attention they deserve or I ignore things they would like for me. Why shouldn't I keep the computer off while they are awake and spend time building block towers, and playing with baby dolls? Facebook will be there tomorrow. In fact, it is probably never going away. But my husband and I's relationship will dwindle if I don't foster it, and my kids will grow up before my eyes. I want them to remember an active, loving mommy. Not a mommy that was too busy to really spend time with them. I still have to do housework, but there is no reason I can't incorporate my kiddos, even if it does take longer to do. They deserve to be included.

I will volunteer. I don't know what exactly- but I feel like I need to do this, and regularly.

I will take better care of my body. God gave it to me and I shouldn't demolish it for the fun of it. This means walking and exercising more, and eating less crap.

I will be in church more. Like all the time. We found a home church we love and the holy spirit is flowing in that place more than any place I have been in my entire life. I want that in me, and I want to learn everything they have to teach. Going on Sundays only is not enough any more. Yes it may be hard to get ready several nights / days a week... but I don't think God would be opposed to more time spent learning his word and worshiping, and I know it would do me some good spiritually, and emotionally as well.

I will relax more. Getting worked up over little stuff, holding grudges, starting fights, stressing over money, people, etc. That stuff is for the birds! I am done with it. What is important is that I am doing the right thing by God and by our family, and as long as I do nothing else really matters too much.

I will intentionally do what we can to cut costs in all areas of our lives, with the end goal of being 100% debt free (no car or house payments either!). HOWEVER- I will not let this hold higher importance than using money to further God's kingdom. We will still tithe, and give in whatever ways we feel led by God to do, no matter what the financial circumstance may be. We will be faithful.

In all I do, I will question "Is this what God would want me to do right now?" and live accordingly.

Maybe I am a little crazy.

So over 5 years ago I met the love of my life, and things went fast. We were in love, and we had the same goals in life. My husband is 6 years older than me so that definitely raised some eyebrows since I was at the mere age of 17, and he was 23 at the time... but I was out of high school and living on my own, we were on the same page. After 6 short months we got engaged, and almost 4 years ago (In March) we were married. I was I was 18 and Stephen turned 25 a couple months later. Now we have a smart, sweet, amazing 2-year-old little girl, a precious 1-year-old little boy who is full of energy, and we are about 7 weeks pregnant with our 3rd baby! We have managed to make it through several months apart since my husband is in the military, we have both attained our Associates degrees in different areas and Stephen is soon to have his bachelors. We both have good paying jobs. We moved 4 times, bought a home, made a life for ourselves and our kids with no financial support or help from anyone else, and very little emotional support either. You could say that our life might not be what you would want for your own 22-year-old self or daughter; but the reality is it is MY life, and I think we are doing pretty well. You know what else, I am happy. I really am happy being a wife and a mother of 2 (soon to be 3.) I have always wanted to have a family, and to love them unconditionally... and I do.

I was 18 when I got married. 20 when I had my daughter, 21 when I had my son. I will be 23 when I have baby #3. Am I crazy? Maybe I just am. Maybe I am completely insane. I got married for the right reasons, I PLANNED my 3 children for the right reasons. I like things to be a little crazy, but crazy is fun; and crazy is how you grow, and it is how your children grow too.

The norm now days is for people to wait until their 30's to get married, wait a few years to have a child (if they have one at all) and maybe have 1 more if they are feeling brave. All the while they continue to work their stressful "dream" jobs and let a nanny or daycare raise their child. But that is not me. I want my kids to be surrounded by family! I want my kids to have so many memorable moments when they grow up that they couldn't imagine ever being an only child! I want to be young enough to carry my kids around piggy-back, even if they are 4 years old. I want to be active with them, teach them, laugh with them, and shape them into respectful, amazing little individuals. Because that is what children are, individuals. They are real people, not property... and I recognize that. Does a 40-year-old mother recognize that too? I hope so. They are just different than me, and that is fine.

Why should I be looked down upon for loving my family? For having babies young? For having them close in age? I think I am doing pretty well, my kids are happy, and I don't ask for help from anyone (expect my God and my husband) Why should someone else put their .02 in on how I choose to grow my family if it doesn't effect them at all? They shouldn't!!!

Will I ever be a perfect person? No. Will I ever be a perfect wife? Not a chance! Will I ever be a perfect mother? Impossible. But I will try my best, and I will be happy doing so.

2013 recap, New Years Resolutions and New Years News!

Well here I am again, back on my blog trying to be better about writing things down. I feel that this is important for me as an outlet but also because I love to look back at what I was thinking and how I have grown in years past. Life changes so quickly and there is just no way that you can remember it all, but at least if you write it down (or record it) you can hopefully get the good stuff.

This past year (2013) has been a lot of changes for us. I started out the year about to burst, 39 weeks pregnant with Josiah. Then I was blessed to experience natural childbirth and it honestly changed my life, after that I was also able to have a good breastfeeding experience with Josiah which is something I missed with Evelynn. I am so happy to say that Josiah is still breastfeeding and has not had formula a single time! (his birthday is in 6 days!!)

Also this year, I got hit with the harsh reality that moving up here was not all roses and butterflies. It was hard, really hard, for me to be up here staying home with 2 babies with no friends or family around. I had my husband, thankfully who has always been amazing and helpful.. but I lacked any girl friends, or any thing really that made this place feel like home. We moved here in August 2012, and I still don't have all our pictures hung up. I love our house, but to me home is where family is... and mine isn't here. Stephen's is though, and while I am growing closer to them I still don't know that I will ever be satisfied with the relationship type I have with them. Its hard for us as we decide where we want to be. And in all honesty, I am not sure we will ever figure it out. Even when I was living in my home town, I wasn't happy. I guess you really never know what you have until it's gone.

With this, I thought it best that I get myself a part time job so that I could have some social interactions, and hopefully make some friends... that quickly turned into me getting a job as an Assistant Director that I just couldn't resist. That was in May. (the main reason I haven't been blogging, busy- busy!) The job has been wonderful. I love my boss, I love who I work with, I love talking with parents, I love bonding with the kids, managing, heck! I even love cooking!!! However there is one major problem with it all... I have lost precious time with my children. Time I will never get back. Time I didn't HAVE to spend away. Now, don't get me wrong, I feel like it is good that I went back to work. Especially with having to replace our heating and cooling unit in July- there is no way we could of afforded that had I been a stay at home mom. However, I honestly do not feel like it is worth it to continue to work full time. Stephen and I barely see each other, and when we do we are always playing catch up because with me being gone 50 hours, and Stephen being gone about 52 hours plus being in school, and us having 2 kids... we seem to be drowning in housework that we could never catch up on. I know part of that is that we have little kids, it's never going to be fully clean, but part of it too, is that we are just gone so much. So very recently, I decided that I would quit. Then I changed my mind, then I changed it again, and several more times until I realized that it wasn't quite time to make a decision. So, I gave my notice and then decided to just take a teacher position. I am going to work three 12-hour-days now, and see how that works. I figure either way if I work 8, 10 or 12 hours, I am still getting the kids up- rushing them to get ready, working, coming home, feeding them and putting them in bed, that's it. At least this way I will have 2 extra days per week with them, and two more days to catch up on chores as well. Then, when we have our savings where we want it... I will start staying home again. That's where my heart is. I just don't think we can do it quite yet.

Stephen is also unhappy with his job, he is ready for a change and he is very over-worked. We are looking into him switching careers and possibly taking a pay cut. Actually, I'm about 99% certain if he switches jobs that he will take a pay cut. However, it would be 40 hours instead of 48, and hopefully allow him more time with us and more overall happiness.

The biggest thing that has been thrown in my face time and time again this year, is that money is not everything. I cannot tell you how strongly I feel like God has been trying to grind this into my head. Money isn't everything. Money IS NOT everything. It's just not.

With that being said... New Years Resolutions are as follows;

1. Spend more quality time with my kids
2. Blog more frequently.
3. Videotape my life and my children more.
4. Vlog more frequently.
5. Pay off debt, and re-build savings.
6. Go on more dates with my husband (even if its just a walk without the kids)
7. Visit family more.
8. Minimize our bills and our spending.
9. Buy second-hand.
10. Quit my job.
11. Make time to read some books.
12. Have another natural birth (possibly at home) and healthy baby.

Yes, you read that right. We are having another baby, this year. I found out at 5:00am on New Years Day. I cannot begin to tell you how excited we are! I am due around September 15th, 2014. We didn't plan this pregnancy as much as the others, but it was no accident either. We decided we were okay with another one if God saw fit, and we have decided to quit trying to control things so much out of fear. We wanted another baby, but we were afraid, and that's just silly. So we let go. We decided if we weren't supposed to have one again (at least not soon) we wouldn't- but we also didn't want to stop something if it was meant to be. And it was, so here we go, on a journey to becoming a family of 5... and I cannot wait.