Well here I am again, back on my blog trying to be better about writing things down. I feel that this is important for me as an outlet but also because I love to look back at what I was thinking and how I have grown in years past. Life changes so quickly and there is just no way that you can remember it all, but at least if you write it down (or record it) you can hopefully get the good stuff.
This past year (2013) has been a lot of changes for us. I started out the year about to burst, 39 weeks pregnant with Josiah. Then I was blessed to experience natural childbirth and it honestly changed my life, after that I was also able to have a good breastfeeding experience with Josiah which is something I missed with Evelynn. I am so happy to say that Josiah is still breastfeeding and has not had formula a single time! (his birthday is in 6 days!!)
Also this year, I got hit with the harsh reality that moving up here was not all roses and butterflies. It was hard, really hard, for me to be up here staying home with 2 babies with no friends or family around. I had my husband, thankfully who has always been amazing and helpful.. but I lacked any girl friends, or any thing really that made this place feel like home. We moved here in August 2012, and I still don't have all our pictures hung up. I love our house, but to me home is where family is... and mine isn't here. Stephen's is though, and while I am growing closer to them I still don't know that I will ever be satisfied with the relationship type I have with them. Its hard for us as we decide where we want to be. And in all honesty, I am not sure we will ever figure it out. Even when I was living in my home town, I wasn't happy. I guess you really never know what you have until it's gone.
With this, I thought it best that I get myself a part time job so that I could have some social interactions, and hopefully make some friends... that quickly turned into me getting a job as an Assistant Director that I just couldn't resist. That was in May. (the main reason I haven't been blogging, busy- busy!) The job has been wonderful. I love my boss, I love who I work with, I love talking with parents, I love bonding with the kids, managing, heck! I even love cooking!!! However there is one major problem with it all... I have lost precious time with my children. Time I will never get back. Time I didn't HAVE to spend away. Now, don't get me wrong, I feel like it is good that I went back to work. Especially with having to replace our heating and cooling unit in July- there is no way we could of afforded that had I been a stay at home mom. However, I honestly do not feel like it is worth it to continue to work full time. Stephen and I barely see each other, and when we do we are always playing catch up because with me being gone 50 hours, and Stephen being gone about 52 hours plus being in school, and us having 2 kids... we seem to be drowning in housework that we could never catch up on. I know part of that is that we have little kids, it's never going to be fully clean, but part of it too, is that we are just gone so much. So very recently, I decided that I would quit. Then I changed my mind, then I changed it again, and several more times until I realized that it wasn't quite time to make a decision. So, I gave my notice and then decided to just take a teacher position. I am going to work three 12-hour-days now, and see how that works. I figure either way if I work 8, 10 or 12 hours, I am still getting the kids up- rushing them to get ready, working, coming home, feeding them and putting them in bed, that's it. At least this way I will have 2 extra days per week with them, and two more days to catch up on chores as well. Then, when we have our savings where we want it... I will start staying home again. That's where my heart is. I just don't think we can do it quite yet.
Stephen is also unhappy with his job, he is ready for a change and he is very over-worked. We are looking into him switching careers and possibly taking a pay cut. Actually, I'm about 99% certain if he switches jobs that he will take a pay cut. However, it would be 40 hours instead of 48, and hopefully allow him more time with us and more overall happiness.
The biggest thing that has been thrown in my face time and time again this year, is that money is not everything. I cannot tell you how strongly I feel like God has been trying to grind this into my head. Money isn't everything. Money IS NOT everything. It's just not.
With that being said... New Years Resolutions are as follows;
1. Spend more quality time with my kids
2. Blog more frequently.
3. Videotape my life and my children more.
4. Vlog more frequently.
5. Pay off debt, and re-build savings.
6. Go on more dates with my husband (even if its just a walk without the kids)
7. Visit family more.
8. Minimize our bills and our spending.
9. Buy second-hand.
10. Quit my job.
11. Make time to read some books.
12. Have another natural birth (possibly at home) and healthy baby.
Yes, you read that right. We are having another baby, this year. I found out at 5:00am on New Years Day. I cannot begin to tell you how excited we are! I am due around September 15th, 2014. We didn't plan this pregnancy as much as the others, but it was no accident either. We decided we were okay with another one if God saw fit, and we have decided to quit trying to control things so much out of fear. We wanted another baby, but we were afraid, and that's just silly. So we let go. We decided if we weren't supposed to have one again (at least not soon) we wouldn't- but we also didn't want to stop something if it was meant to be. And it was, so here we go, on a journey to becoming a family of 5... and I cannot wait.
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