Christopher Dale Reuter.

We met when I was ten years old, you were eleven. We were best friends in no time starting our journey of getting in trouble together, long talks, and a genuinely good friendship.
We went through the rest of elementary school into Middle School together, where we were each others first boyfriend/girlfriend for around six months. We had a small rough patch but soon enough were best friends again. All through high school we had each others backs. I wanted for you to be happy, and you wanted the same for me. We would joke about silly things, get in trouble for talking, maybe even cause a little drama... but we were pretty cool kids in the end. I mean, really... who spends an ENTIRE Sunday studying for biology. That's right, we did it all. You were a good guy, Christopher and I love you very much still.

On Monday, November 8th is the last time I saw you. You were so excited to cook dinner for Stephen and I. I was excited too. You made spaghetti. It was really good. We talked, and you told us of all your plans. Then we played yahtzee. It was pretty fun too... at least, I thought so. ;)

I guess I just never thought you would be gone. I figured you would be around forever. I thought you would be 'Uncle Chris' to my children, and remain my best friend for several years to come. I never thought this would happen...

On Sunday, November 14th I got the call. You had died. You were only 20 years old. Exactly one year older than me, to the day. I couldn't believe it. Part of me still doesn't...
Being with your family, helping with the funeral, weeping with your mother, your aunt, your sister, your brother, and all your friends... it was still unreal. I just thought you would walk through at any time to tell us of your joke.

But it is real. You are gone. I feel so empty. I feel like I didn't do enough. But mostly... I feel robbed. 20-year-olds are not supposed to die. This wasn't supposed to happen. And I am sick about the fact that it did.

Later on we found out you died in your sleep of an aneurysm. It was brought on by some sort of huffing... Something I never dreamed you would do. I guess he did it for years without me knowing... but he wouldn't have told me, because he knew I would probably give him the "thats stupid" talk.

This is pretty depressing for me and I still don't really know how to handle it. I am trying to be happy because I know that he wouldn't want me making my life miserable... it's just kind of hard sometimes.

Rest In Peace, Christopher... I love you.

Changes- for the good. :-)

So I have been working at Summer Start daycare as the lead 1-year-old teacher for over a week now and I have to say that I LOVE IT! I am so glad I was able to get the job and each day I feel more and more confident that this is what I am supposed to be doing. I am so lucky, and I know that God provides.
My boss actually has been giving me compliments a lot and it seems like they really like me there. I am watching the daycare grow before my eyes since they just recently opened and I am glad that I was one of the first additions to their daycare family. :)
Also, working with the little ones makes me feel better about becoming a mom. Stephen and I plan to start trying in the next couple of weeks and I don't doubt that decision at all either. I am so excited to finally have a little one of my own, and I am thrilled that I have a job that I can work while pregnant, and after my little one arrives.
I just hope and pray that it all continues to go well. =]