The dumps.

Yeah... I am "down in the dumps" as one would say. In more than one way.

After Chris died, I have been pretty upset. Not a lot I can do about it though, I continued to go to work and try to be active in school... with not a lot of success.

I have been sick for three weeks, right before Chris died I got really sick and I haven't been able to shake it off. :/

Finally last night my husband made me go to the doctor, who then made me go to the hospital... Where they beat me up all night running tests, poking me with needles, etc.

I was severely dehydrated and they found an ovarian cyst. Also, were aren't sure exactly... but they know I have "infectious diarrhea" Although they aren't sure the infection exactly. :/ Probably Ecoli or something awful, Since I know my mom had that.

Anyway... so with all the Chris stuff, and then being sick, and then being in the hospital I have managed to do so awful in one of my classes, that it doesn't matter if I get 100% on everything else, I will still fail. My teacher refused to work with me, even though she hid most of the stuff and I didn't know about it.

So I will not be able to graduate in May with two degrees. I can graduate with the one if I want to though.

I am really worried. I think I am killing myself with all this school and work stuff going on. :/ If I still want to get both degrees I will have to go until July at least, and I will have to take 16 credit hours again next semester, and then 6 in the summer.

I guess I will do it though... I have not much of a choice. I don't want one crappy teacher and one bad situation to reuin my life... but at the same time, I don't want to waste my life on school and kill myself. I can't afford to not work, so something's gotta give. Ugh.

Anyway... I don't know what to do. Especially with trying to have a baby. There is a chance I could already be pregnant and just don't know... I don't want to stress myself out even more during a pregnancy, you know? I also don't want to be killing myself after my child is born though, which means I need to suck it up and do it now. BLAH.