Each day that passes I feel like there is nothing in the world that would possibly make me want to stay in Springfield. It seems like I am surrounded by some of the worst people ever! I adore all of my friends that are so wonderful, but it seems the bad is outweighing the good lately. No way on earth would I want to raise my children here, that's for sure.
It seems my boss has some kind of personal issue with me. She is always pissed off at me but never has a legitimate reason as to why. A couple months ago the 'reason' was that I was a perfectionist. I thought that was something that employers wanted!? Then after she lied about giving me dibs on hours and cut me down I asked her if I was doing something wrong and that pissed her off. She couldn't give me an answer but was seriously offended that I even asked. Multiple times since she gave the other bather my hours, there is stuff she hasn't done and then my boss yells at me. It's like seriously... if I was here she knows it would be done, and done well. I have a hard time being happy at work but I have to have a job and I can't really express my feelings about what is going on because that just makes her mad. Even though it is her herself that told me to tell her if anything ever seemed unfair or if anything bothered me. I literally worked zero hours this week, and ten the week before. How is one supposed to live off of that? They can't. I guess I am supposed to work some kind of magic. :(
The next person that is really bringing me down is Tracey. She is so awful to Stephen and I. A few weeks ago she came over here to pick up Shyann (only because I told her I didn't have gas and couldn't pick her up AND bring her home this time.) and she was with some other woman and she had obviously been drinking. Shyann smelled it on her breath, and then she lied to Shyann but told me she would tell me the truth later. (obviously admitting it, right?) Then we comtemplated calling the cops on her because she was driving with Shyann, another child and another lady in the car. We didn't though, because I didn't want Shyann to deal with her mom getting arrested again. So we accidentally brought it up the next weekend when we were visiting my grandma, and a couple days later she called Stephen cussing him out, after she was cussing out my grandma and not letting her leave for work. The next time I saw her she admitted she was drunk, but still refused to apologize to Stephen. Last week Shyann called me crying because her mom and dad were fighting and Tracey was mad that Shyann left a couple days before when she was drunk. I went to pick Shyann up, and Tracey called the cops on me! After everything I have done for her! She owes me over $100 (which I could use because I'm SO BROKE!) and I always pick up and drop off Shyann. I buy school clothes for Shyann, take Shyann where she needs to go, and let Shyann earn money by working for us sometimes. Tracey is drunk all the time, She always tried to beat me up when I was a kid, she has hit her own daughter, hit my grandma, and driven while drunk but I have NEVER called the cops on her. I try to keep Shyann safe, and she calls the cops on me for kidnapping! FUCK HER. I stand by this, from now on if there is any reason to call the cops on her- I WILL do it.
Lastly, but not least- my mother. Oh I am so sick of dealing with her! SERIOUSLY it pisses me off so bad! The last two years have been hell with her. When I moved out she threatened to take my car, that I had paid for myself, but since I was only 16 her name was on it and she was being the devil. She never accepted Stephen into our lives, even though he is amazing to me and tries to be nice to everyone else even when they hurt me constantly (like she does.) From the time I moved out she decided that I was no longer important, and her marital problems with Kevin seem to be her excuse for everything but I don't think that matters. I am still her child and she should make an effort. Around Thanksgiving last year she got pissed off because I was having my (more reliable) cousin do my wedding shower, and then when the wedding shower came around she didn't show up because she was in jail. On Christmas we were all supposed to go to grandma's but instead her and Tracey went to my uncles and got drunk and beat each other up while Stephen and I were the only one's at grandma's while she got depressed because none of her kids care about her. She was in rehab for whatever she was in jail for, and she broke out to come to my wedding, and I spent my whole wedding day worried to death that the cops were going to show up and take her away. I had to threaten to have escorts take her and Kevin out if they didn't stop fighting. After my wedding she picked a huge fight with me and we didn't talk again until June when I invited her to a BBQ that we were having and things seemed to be made up. Then she invited Stephen and I over just to call us and cancel because her and Kevin couldn't get along. She never rescheduled. Since then it has been fighting constantly if we talk at all. A few weeks ago I called her and invited her to church but she couldn't go because she was in rehab again. She told me she would call me when she got out but she never did, and I haven't talked to her since. Now she wants to pick a fight with my husband and talk shit to my family about us when she has NEVER tried. I cannot wait to get away from her. She never wanted to be a mother and she never will be a mother to me. She is still stuck in a 15-year-old mindset and refuses to take responsibility for her own actions. I am ready to change my phone number, move and not give her my address, block her from facebook and be done with it.
So just more reasons I am ready to move.
Speaking of moving, I may be able to move faster if I can save money for our savings goals sooner than expected. I don't know if I can though. I talked to my adviser for college and she told me that I can take all my classes next semester and graduate in May if I want to. That would be 19 credit hours though and I don't know if I would be able to handle that. Plus I wouldn't receive as much financial aid if I did it that way. If I stay and wait to graduate until July I can take 13 classes in the Spring and 6 in the summer and still be considered full time and get more money out of the deal; but that means I would have to be stuck here even longer- and possibly without Stephen if QT has closed already and is in Kansas City.
So we will just wait and see what happens. PHEW! I feel better after ranting about the crazies.
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